Once again my mind has been thinking about just running away. I'm so sick of New Hampshire. So sick of knowing everyone, and everything. I want to get away. Meet new people, see new places. I'm getting this feeling of being stuck in New England. Even stuck in New Hampshire. It's just the same shit different day. My life is so predictable. It's sad. Thank god I finally have a new girl that is at least a possibility. I dont know her well so I can at least get to know her. One of my friends asked "Why do you even think she's a possibility?!!? She is a huge ditz!!" and I simply told her that so far all the smart girls I've dated have just had a "To good for anything" attitude and I hated it. At least the dumb girls appreciate some stuff. Unless they're spoiled but I can tell a spoiled girl from not in an instant.
So I'm slowing changing things. Trying new things. Talking to people I would never talk to. Starting to date girls I would never date. Maybe it'll make me feel like I've made something out of my teen years. Even though I know I'm going to hold a grudge against my parents for a long time. They held me back from so much. The good and the bad. I'm tempted to shut off my phone, my laptop, everything and just relax this week. At the same time it's going to be my only time to do anything for awhile so I want to take that opportunity.
It's a hard life and I hardly see it getting easier. I cant imagine it getting much harder though. I've been through a lot. As much of an emotional wreck I am, I'm strong. New walls are in order. I'll be ok just as long as I know what needs to be done. As always, until next time.