Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Smoking and Fighting and My Story

So I havent posted in a long while now. This is due to either many things going on or me just needing to vent my problems in my Xbox by killing people. Here is a quick update. Friday-Worked and had an alright night. Sat.- slept in late in an attempt to get some sleep. Went to work. Came home and hung out for the night. Sun.- Once again slept in, then came home and did some homework. Mon.- Got to school and broke up with my almost 3 month on again off again girlfriend. Had an average day at school, came home and worked my butt off to get an essay done. Today I simply hung out all day, having a, in my opinion, well deserved relaxing pj day. Now to what's been on my mind.

Smoking. Smoking is one of those things I feel is like drinking. It is great in moderation but way to many people abuse it and give it a bad name. Now I honestly have a cigarette or two with a friend every couple months at the most. I smoke because it calms me down and gets me in a good mood. Nicotine does amazing things to me. Now I am smart enough to know I will get addicted so I am going to prevent that by not smoking everyday of my life like people who abuse it. Most people think it's gross but me personally I find I like it. Native Americans, when they had a meeting they passed a pipe around. This got everyone ready for a preductive tribal meeting. Course they didnt have addictives in them so it was better. See that's why when I get a chance I'm going for all natural and seeing how I like it. Even deeper, however, is the addictiveness. The first time I smoked, I had one cigarette with a friend. The next day I surprised myself by finding I wanted to smoke again. It wasnt a sweating balls sensation of needing a cigarette. It was just a want. This interested me and swiftly concluded I wanted it 1.) because of the addictiveness and 2.) because it made me feel like a million bucks afterwords. It's one of those things I probably will never do alone, and will do in moderation so that when I'm in a slump it's a pick me up.

Fighting. This isnt the man to man, busting each others brains out fighting. This is fighting verbally. Fighting is on my mind because, even though I am single now, I still fight with my ex. God I know it's been 2 days since we broke up but we still find ourselves fighting. Fighting about what happened, what went wrong, who was in the wrong. All this the most pointless fighting ever because we are over and it doesnt matter. It makes me wonder if we were always fighting because we werent meant to be or if it is because we frankly just like each other so much that the littlest thing that is wrong just promotes a fight that hopefully will make us understand each other better. Yet after a fight, as much as I feel like crap for fighting, I feel better. It seems neither of us can explain what is on our minds unless we are pissed at each other and in the end we come out knowing what's on each others minds. It's one of those things that will probably never be solved but just wont escape my mind until the fighting escapes my daily routine.

My story. Well I was gladly inspired by my most missed friends Brianna, when she wrote a Valentines Day vampire story. This sprung many ideas into my head about me writing it in a male's point of view. It's been swimming in my head for some time now and still has yet to get even a paragraph onto paper, but here is a little sneak peak to what it will hopefully will be after I write it and Brianna edits it!

Valentines Day
The city was so cold. Every breath was a puff of mist that soon disappeared. This biting cold did not take away from the cities beauty. Skyscrapers were lit up, cars were zooming all about, and couple were walking and laughing holding hands despite the late midnight hour. It was Valentines Day, and like the 613 some odd other Valentines Days I had endured, I was still looking for that one special girl that would steal my nonexistent heart. I crouched on top of a stereotypical "scary" gargoyle that was made to protect from evil spirits that are very much like myself. Not a single person caught my pitch black, piercing eyes. I guess I would have to cram into a club looking for the girl I'd spotted just a few days ago.

I walked confidently right up to the bouncer at the local club. He looked me up and down, getting that sense of just how dangerous I could be, but despite that he asked for my ID. I gave him my fake ID and he motioned me through. I stepped into a dark, fog filled room with strobing lights and people of all types dancing and having a good time. I scanned the room quickly and finally saw her, sitting in a corner sipping on a bloody mary. Tonight would be a good night....

So this was all just pulled right up onto here from my head, to my fingers, to my blog. I'm sure there are a lot of incorrect things, but it is late and I hardly know what I'm typing anymore. I think I will go to bed. Let me know what you think and we'll see about actually getting this short story going and hopefully finished! As always, until next time.


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